I’d like to share something with you.  Something I learned (the hard way) in my life.  Beware the tangled web you weave.  There is a price to pay.

I didn’t see this when I was in my 20s and 30s.  I didn’t realize I was paying a price while weaving the web and playing “the game”.   What is the price?  Well since we are all different we will find the price we pay to be as individual as we are.  For some of us the price may be small or we may believe it doesn’t exist at all.  For others the price can be so much higher.

You may have woven such an intricate web of who you supposedly are that it may seem almost impossible to live up to it or break free of it.   I find this especially in our world of Social Media and “the game” of “marketing ourselves”.

The World Of Social Media

The world of Social Media just takes all of this to a whole new level.  Market your “strengths”… “hide” your weaknesses.   We get a “pass” on “not telling the whole truth” because it is rationalized, justified and accepted in our culture to such a large degree.  To the point that it isn’t even referred to as lying. It’s just “social media” and “marketing“.  It’s “how the game is played”.

Do not misunderstand me.  I do not “dislike” social media as a concept.  I use Facebook in my personal life to keep up with what is going on in everyone’s lives that I care about.  And I do so adore the wonderful “Twitter community” I’m involved with.  For me the emphasis is on the “social” part of “social media”.

What I’m trying to say is there is a HUGE temptation, in my opinion, to focus on the “media” part of “social media”.  Only really putting out there half truths…. only the stuff that we think makes us look good.  The “marketing” of ourselves and our lives to others.

I am 53 years old.  Which translates to yup.. lived a bunch of years… and yup… have spent a lot of time and energy “weaving webs” when I was younger. Trying to “influence” and “control” your view and opinion of me. Fortunately for me, 🙂  Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn were NOT around  in my 20s and 30s as platforms to amplify the weaving of my webs.  I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been to break through the webs I would have woven if I could have used today’s social media platforms.

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor syndrome … is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

LOL.  Ever experienced this?   I have.  The interesting thing is that I have noticed every time I feel this way it is because I’m trying to live up to some perception others have of me. Of course… lol… this is much worse if the perception they have is because you have been “working it” and “weaving that web“.  Been there.  Done that.  Bought the T-Shirt.

I remember being picked for the Cisco Champion program in 2013 and being so scared.  I didn’t want to have to “live up to” other people’s expectations of me.

But ya know what?  I really don’t have to.

I’m just me.  Just simply me.  I’m far from perfect.  And I like life better embracing that fact.  A wise friend of mine once told me she wouldn’t ever want to be perfect, because she would have nothing left to learn.  …. And wouldn’t life be boring to have nothing left to learn.

What I Have Learned

I have learned that “Web weaving is absolutely exhausting“.   Trying to always be controlling and influencing what others think of me just takes so very much time and energy.  LOL.

I have a dear friend in a 12 step program that shared with me years ago about the concept that all we can change is ourselves.  Not others.  I found a freedom in that. A peace.  Like a weight was lifted.

I’m not suggesting you tear all your webs down.  Just that you might want to take an active look at them and acknowledge the impact they have and the role they play in your life.

Hugs to all!  🙂

Categories: Fishbits

Tags: Career